Dear Emily: Past and Future

I’m participating in WordPress’ Daily Post blog prompts and thought this one, Write a letter to your 14-year-old self. Tomorrow, write a letter to yourself in 20 years would be interesting to do.  There are many times I think to myself, “If I could only go back in time and tell myself __”_”_”_”  Here’s my chance.  Also, I’m going to write my 69 year old self a letter and send it here, too…  Won’t you write your own letters to yourself, both past and future?  Leave me a comment if you do.   I’d love to read it!

 

Dearest Em,

You really are such a dear, sweet girl.  I’m so proud of you and what you will become as you grow older.  I love your honesty, creatively and your sunshine. You will always be gullable and a little naive. There’s always sunshine around you, not just the golden rays that bounce off your hair, but the ones emanating from you.  You are so lovely inside…don’t lose that.  Because you are so good, there are a few things I must tell you.  I have inside knowledge of just how things are going to go for you and I don’t want you to make the same mistakes twice.  Keep this letter in your jewelry box and read it often.  Remember how good, kind, smart and important you are.  

Never let anyone, especially  the kids you go to school with make you feel bad about yourself, or make you feel self conscious in any way.  They are fools to treat you like that and you can’t let what they say affect you in a negative way.  Let it roll off your back and to the floor.  I repeat, do not let what they say to you sink in.  You are wonderful.  And when people look at you they are not thinking negative thoughts about your facial features or how fat you are.  They are going to remember the  way you made them feel.  Always be like sunshine as much as you can.

Emily, you are so young.  I know Larry is a fun, exciting boyfriend but sweetie, you need to just be ‘Emily’ for a while and develop who you are as a person.   Boyfriends can be as much trouble as they are fun.  You need to  enjoy your freedom for a few years longer and then think about getting serious.  The best thing for you, dear girl, is to date many boys and see which one fits you the best.  Find someone who makes you laugh :(trust me…he needs to laugh at you and you at him.  Boy, do I know!) and tells you how wonderful and artistic and amazing you are.  And do the same back for him, because boys love to be appreciated just as much as us girls.  Oh, and when Larry pouts and withdraws when he doesn’t get his way-well, just turn around and ignore him because it doesn’t matter anyway.  Don’t let yourself get caught up in people pleasing because it only hurts one person and that is you.  It really, really hurts you so stop doing it.  NOW.   And if he lets you go because you won’t play the game, then so be it-he wasn’t worth it in the first  place.  But if he pays attention to what you are doing and changes, then that will be a good thing.  You have to train them early.  Either way Em, go ahead and meet other boys and try them on for size.  The perfect fit will come to you and you will find a good one.  Oh and that kid Jim Phistry in high school really likes you but is too shy to ask you out.  Go up to him and be friendly and tell him you’d love to go for lunch.  Watch how surprised he is when you ask him!  You can thank me later.  🙂

It’s so important to exercise and stay active.  Over the years pounds creep up and before we know it, life becomes a daily struggle to lose weight.  Read about calories now and don’t  over eat.  Food never tastes as good as being slender feels.  I know you will obsess and fuss and think about how you want to be thinner and you can avoid that now by not allowing yourself to gain too much weight as you get older.  The biggies:  Sugar and bread.  Watch it kiddo.  And don’t be lazy.  Learn to like being active and train yourself now to walk and maybe even run.  Be active daily and you will be thin when you are middle aged.   And watch out for those ‘all you can eat’ restaurants.  They will be the reason you gain unwanted weight.  

Emily, you are only 14 now, but you will be 19 before you know it.  I’m so sad to say you won’t have your sweet dad for very long.  He will get very sick by the time you are 18.  You need to spend time with him. Quality time-Laugh, hug, and talk to him.  Play board games with him.  Visit the museums and go on Sunday outings with him.  Find out everything, and remember as much as you can about him.  Find a way to record his voice so you will always be able to hear it.  Save his letters to you so 30 years from now when you are still missing him you can pull them out and read his words to you over and over again as much as you need to hear them.  Treat him nice and be patient with him even on those days when he gets grouchy.  You won’t have him long and you must savor every moment, both good and not so great.  I know this is sad news, but I had to tell you.  Now that you know, you can make the best of what you have left with him.

You will have your mom for a long time.  Try to better your relationship with her so you won’t want move out at such a young age.  Remember,as much as it doesn’t seem like it at times, she really, really does love you.  It’s just the way she was raised.  She can’t help it.  Be the better person and understand.  She needs you more than you can imagine.  

The best thing I can tell you now Em is to just take your time growing up.  Remember you are so important and you are the only person you have to answer to in this life.  Do what’s best for Emily, but not at the sake of others.  Be a good, empathetic, caring person.  But don’t sacrifice yourself or what you want because others might make you feel bad for wanting those things.  Nothing you want is bad.  But you have a right to be the person you dream and hope  to be and let no one keep you from that dream.  If they try to stop you or shame you then they aren’t worth knowing in the first  place.   Most importantly, you need to be able to support yourself with out a man.  You never want to have to feel forced to stay in a bad relationship because you have no other  way to support yourself than staying with someone who makes you miserable and unhappy.  Don’t be eager to get married so young.  Go to college.  Get an apartment.  BE EMILY.  Get a good job and be self-supporting.  Then, and only then, should you decide to marry.  It’s okay to say no.  Learn to say no before you are 40.  It will do you a world of good, my dear.

You have some friends from  grammar school who you don’t see much of now but they will be your best gal pals when you are in your 40’s and beyond…can you believe that?  Laura Paul, Cindy M.,  and Sharon T. will be there for you.  It’s hard to imagine but they will!  

Now, get on with your life and kiss your dad on the top of his bald head and tell him you (we) love him.  Remember what I’ve said to you and use this letter as a guide to get through life.  You’re gonna need it, so tuck it under that little white box in your jewelry chest and don’t lose it.   Oh, and one last thing….never stop praying and loving God.  He will  be there for you.  You’ve got the love to see you through.

I love you!

–Your Guardian E.

You and Laura…still friends to the end!